Fears
by SaltySeilde
Summary: Fear prevents people from doing many things that their heart desires. Could it be fear that keeps two people away from love? This story is a(nother) Kel/Dom fic.
1. Ink

**NOTE: Hey guys! I'm happy to be back to ! I used to write a lot of TP fanfictions under a different username. I won't say which because my stories are still floating around here somewhere and they make my English degree quietly weep in its frame on the wall. They also make me weep a little. This time around I'm hoping to be better than ever! (Maybe)**

**I'm using these fictions as a form of practice to sharpen my writing skills. I'll try not to make too many mistakes and keep you entertained as well. ****J**

**-SaltySeilde**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything blah blah blah.**

**Title: Fears**

**Stage: This fic takes place directly after Lady Knight. Like four months tops. **

Chapter One: Ink

She gazed out the window from her desk. The sun, bright, pulled out gold and green flecks from her hazel eyes. The breeze took threads of her neatly cropped hair and tickled her nose. She sighed.

Keladry of Mindelan was bored. New Hope was moving like a well-oiled machine; it was almost like they didn't really need her for much. There wasn't much instruction she had to deliver anymore. If she tried her people looked at her with humor. Her window faced into the main area of the new fort. She could see her people greeting one another. One man helped lift the other end of a heavy log. Everything was peachy. Children were laughing and women were gossiping.

The fighting had rapidly died down following the destruction of the Killing Machines. However, there was still a lot of unrest in Scanra. Small forces continued to attack even if it wasn't in much earnest. Talk of peace had begun. She wasn't sure how long it would all continue but at least they had seen no major fighting for weeks. That gave New Hope time to become very well built and fortified. It was functioning more like a town than a refugee camp. People had begun to sell their skills and trade. A small economy was budding. It was a wonder to watch unfold.

She gazed back down at the papers she was working on and sighed. Supply orders were a bore. Sure, she loved math but writing numbers and orders for hours made her eyes cross. She didn't have clerks for this yet. Clerks, she thought wistfully, they were certainly something she regretted taking for granted. She really needed to get more. At least now New Hope didn't need to ask for many supplies. The majority of their food was grown on site and any goods they needed were mostly addressed by the skilled workers who had sought Haven in New Hope's walls.

At her next sigh she set down her quill. This much sighing meant she needed to do something else. She looked at her hands; stained with ink. She pushed away with disgust and crossed to her cleaning basin. Thrusting her hands into the water she scrubbed the ink away until the stains were only a faint discoloration. As the water splashed and the faintly scented soap foamed she reflected back.

_Lord Raoul's wedding was small but lovely. There were flowers everywhere and not a dry eye in the whole chapel. Before Raoul kissed his lovely bride he had turned very red. He really did never like being the center of attention. The kiss was sweet and Buri looked so happy. Kel's heart had floated into her throat as she held back tears. She may have been a little bit of a romantic but she certainly didn't want anyone knowing. _

_Dom had danced with her that night at the party afterward. He was a very smooth dancer and being that close to him made her heart lodge in her throat for a completely different reason this time. It wasn't fair. It really wasn't. He was nice, smart, funny, a great warrior, and completely beautiful. _

Kel removed her hands from the water abruptly and grumbled. Ever since the wedding she had been battling herself over her feelings for Domitan of Masbolle. They were friends, having become close while she was squire to Lord Raoul, Knight Commander of the King's Own and closer still during their soiree in Scanra to hunt down the kidnapped people of Haven. He seemed to value their friendship but Kel had developed feelings that had transformed from girlish attraction to a woman's love. It was unrequited, surely, and that was the most madding of it all.

Her lamenting over the pointlessness of love and all things romantic was cut off by a brisk knock at the door. Pulling it open she was greeted by her friend, perhaps the best of them all, Nealan of Queenscove, lounging against the frame of the door like he owned the place.

"Hello, dear Protector. I feel like perhaps you're not getting enough sun. That's bad for you, you know. You're too fair to pull off milky skin. Come outside. I'll let you hit me with a stick, even." His voice, when he was deep in his Player's persona, was like warm oil. He gave her a smile. It faded a little.

"Are you okay? Getting enough sleep?" Her stopped lounging and stood straight. His cool hand snaked out and grabbed her chin. His face went from aloof to worry. This was the Neal that most never really saw. The generous, vulnerable man who picked apples only because the children of New Hope loved them.

Kel pulled away, "I'm fine. Really. I just I'm just in a funk." She eyed him, "You'll let me hit you with a stick, huh?"

"Perhaps. Only if you come out into the warm sun under the lovely blue sky the Goddess has blessed us with," he threw his arms theatrically out.

Laughing Kel put on her boots.

Outside the sun was indeed warm and the sky was a happy shade of blue. She saw all of three small fluffy clouds. Neal and Kel were moving toward the practice yard making small talk. The young couple just had their first baby, an injured man was doing very well on his road to recovery, Neal's sister had landed a good marriage; small talk. Kel was about to ask the name of the man his sister was to marry when she heard the blow of the sentry's trumpet. Turning she walked fast to the wall and climbed onto the catwalk. She greeted the sentry, Mikus, as he passed her a spyglass. She viewed through it. Suddenly she was a very happy lady knight. The banner of the King's Own was displayed clearly.

Here was the fun she needed, the break from monotony was on its way.

**End Note: I really don't know where I'm going with this. I dry wrote the whole thing. Just started typing. Hoping it doesn't suck too badly. There isn't too much content here to enjoy but hopefully it's a good beginning to something I can continue for a while. **

**Give me your feedback: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Perhaps even ideas for where I should go with this. **

**Also, would love a Beta reader. Any volunteers?**


	2. Speaking

**Note: Hey guys! Thanks for those who read and commented on the last chapter. Much appreciated. I still only have a vague idea where I'm going with this so just bear with me, okay? Next time I'll make a longer chapter with more stuff actually happening. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these wonderful people. TP does. I just use them as puppets in my evil game.**

Chapter 2: Speaking

To welcome the guests to New Hope the cooks planned a wonderful meal. Kel crossed into the mess hall and got into the serving line. She could smell warm meats. Under that smell was something sweet. Perhaps there was pie.

She smiled warmly at the people dishing the food up in the serving line. Everyone was put into a rotation of chores at the fort. No one got stuck doing anything for longer than a week. It made the people happier. It meant that no one was doomed to repeating an action they hated for very long. At the end of the line there truly was pie; apple and warm.

Turning Kel spotted her friends all grouped together at a single long table. Neal looked up and met her eyes. He flagged Kel down. Placing her plate down she sat between to Merric and Dom. Neal was in front of her. When she sat the conversation boomed almost immediately. She wanted Dom to tell her about everything he had been doing since last she saw him. He obliged. There was a way, she thought, about how Dom told stories that made everything a little more interesting than the way other people told stories. He made it seem as though you were there too and he was simply refreshing your memory.

Gazing around the room she picked out several other people she knew. After riding with the King's Own for four years she had gotten to know many of the men very well. She saw Raoul talking loudly about something or other. He met eyes with her and gave her a quick wink without breaking tempo in his conversation.

She really missed this. Loud, smelly men. Action. Expression. Running New Hope had really become predictable. Problems were seldom. She felt like a figure head and nothing more. The people here really could run themselves.

Her plate cleaned she excused herself saying that she would meet them all later in her chamber. There wasn't a library or sitting room that they could council in. Her room would have to do even though they would have to squeeze in. Her laughed and returned her tray to the serving line. After she left Dom made a quick excuse and returned his tray too. She was walking across the dry grass when he called her.

"Wait up!" He did a small jog to catch up. They walked quietly together toward the main building where her rooms rested.

"So," he began, "How's everything going?" He had been a little different with her since the wedding. His letters were shorter and didn't say much about anything anymore. Now he acted as though conversation was difficult when it had been easy for them before.

"Everything is good. This place runs so well I could disappear tomorrow and no one would skip a beat." She smiled.

"I don't think that's true. They love you here."

They had reached the main building. On the side was an open air stair that brought you all the way up to her room. They mounted those now and walked up. She used her key to open the door and let them both in. Dom made busy greeting Jump and the sparrows as Kel cleared clutter from her desk and chairs. Paper work was towered everywhere. For a woman manning a fort she really performed more like a desk knight these days.

Papers fell from her overburdened hands. Dom stooped to pick them up. Odd, she could have sworn that he had been sitting on the bed playing tug with Jump. He straightened and handed her the sheets. He was close. One day, she thought panicked, she would get used to having him close without having to hyperventilate.

"Thanks." She tried on a smile that she hoped was casual.

He dismissed the thanks and rested him bum against her desk as she stuffed the papers into a drawer.

"You look bored."

Kel eyed him, "Thanks, I suppose. Better than looking tired."

"Oh, you look well rested. Which is weird for you. Normally you're much too busy to sleep. Is life getting boring for our dear Protector?"

She sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. Jump stuck his nose under her hand begging to be pet. She obliged with a small smile.

"I meant it when I said they wouldn't notice if I left. I barely do a thing here. We don't get attacked. I don't have to delegate anything. Everyone knows what to do." She looked at her hands. Some of the ink from before still remained. Kel thought back to the Chamber of the Ordeal. She had visited it as a newly made squire. All squires did it at some point. It was meant to ease some of their jitters about the Ordeal and to satisfy some of their natural curiosity.

She had laid her hand on the door and it had forced an image of her as squire to a desk knight into her mind. She didn't end up as such. Raoul had asked her to be his squire only hours after.

Now, she couldn't help but see that image again but with her sitting at the desk and a bored squire bringing her water.

"I think that they could handle themselves," Dom confessed honestly. He pushed off the desk and crossed the room. With a sigh he sat next to her.

"The war is almost over. The end truly is in sight. This isn't a lasting pain. You'll be reassigned before you know it." He squeezed her hand and smiled warmly into her eyes.

Pounding on the door was followed by half a dozen men barging in. Soon the room was filled with noise and laughter. Tobe came by with some drinks but left quickly. Now that he had friends he didn't cling to Kel like a burr anymore. It was nice to see.

After a couple hours the men started to make excuses to leave. They were tired. Dom was the last to leave. He looked at Kel like he wanted to say something. Instead he sighed and hugged her.

"It's really good to see you," he whispered and left closing the door quietly behind him.


End file.
